When thinking about writing regarding myself and my relationship to my family or ancestors, it brings about a certain amount of anxiety. There is a lot of generational “baggage” that comes to mind when I put in the effort to find a topic relating to myself. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your viewpoint, I have been tasked with breaking down a lot of these patterns so as to not inflict them on my own child. It hasn’t been the easiest thing in the world, in fact, it’s probably been one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life. I’ve had to unlearn a lot of patterns and behaviors and am still doing so.

Having said that, for the purposes of this assignment, I’m going to bullet point a few ideas that I may include in my Memoir essay. They are as follows:

• Being the oldest daughter of a narcissistic mother

1. The effect this has had on me and my interpersonal relationships with both me and others.
2. The behaviors I may have continued and those that I refused to continue.
3. Ramifications in both my mental and physical health.
4. The importance I placed upon doing well in all things, the outlets I used while growing up, and the good relationships I had within my family and friends if any.
5. How and why my relationship with my mother, and other family members differs from that of my sister.
6. How that has impacted both of our children.

• Being the oldest grandchild to the mother who raised my mother

1. Seeing her through rose colored glasses most of my life, and how the effect of the truths I’ve learned have affected me in all aspects of my life.
2. Reviewing my memories both good and bad to see if I learned any lessons from them.
3. At 42, I am still in some ways searching for their approval and the meaning in all of this.
4. The identity crisis that has come upon me due to the unlocked memories of my past and my inability to see my Nana how I once did.

• How the relationships with the individuals within my family have evolved

1. My sister being born when I was 20 was the catalyst for the beginning of changing my behaviors in order to not allow certain cycles to continue in both my life and hers.
2. The choice I made to marry someone whom I probably shouldn’t have and why.
3. The birth of my son and the issues that were surrounding that.
4. The turning point of my life where I decided I was going to stop the cycles and start living for myself, not someone who passed away (my Nana) or the seeking of approval from those still here. (mother, my aunt, my sister)

• Where I find myself now in my life

1. Going back to school.
2. Actively breaking cycles and doing the work.
3. Being a mother.
4. The few relationships I have with those who are important to me.

• Where I hope to end up

1. Goals I want to achieve in both work and personal life.
2. Values and lessons I hope to instill in my son.

I felt I could truly relate to the words spoken by the Author in both videos. I’m a member of the LGBTQIA+ community and a single parent. As such, I am consistently looking for ways to change or make the world a better place not only for my community but for my child. I try to look for ways to teach my son not to be a follower but a leader because I believe it’s his duty to himself and future generations to be able to leave a lasting impression that is positive on the world, we live in. Speaking specifically to the LGBTQIA+ community, I feel it is my responsibility to consistently learn and advocate as our rights are frequently under attack by elected officials. There is still a stigma and an underlying prejudice that runs deeply through the world regarding the LGBTQIA+. We are consistently judged and in some areas of the country and world it is a crime to simply be who you are. That needs to change. Legislation is one step, but what really needs to be done is education. People all over the world need to be taught that being “different” or “not normal” to the standards of society is ok. People need to be taught that it isn’t a conscious choice that we make to be a certain way, the choice is whether or not we choose to acknowledge who we’ve always been.

As a whole, we need to learn to support and encourage others to be honest about who they are. We need to learn acceptance and realize that just because someone is different, that doesn’t mean they are wrong. We need to learn to communicate with the basis of understanding not proving whether or not you are right or wrong. We need to be taught how to sustain ourselves both emotionally and physically. If there is one thing that we learned from the Covid-19 pandemic, it is that the people who are working in grocery stores are vastly underrated. Teachers are underpaid and not given the proper respect they deserve. Truck drivers and factory workers are the backbone of our economy, but they are treated with such disrespect and malice because it’s “blue collar” work and “beneath” most people. I was raised to treat the janitor with the same respect as I would treat a CEO. They each serve and important role in our society. I personally believe our country would be much better off with a “blue collar” worker in the Oval Office instead of a career politician because they would be more likely to help the lower- and middle-class Americans due to the fact they can relate to us and are one of us.

I also liked the fact that he spoke about a “seed vault”. I think that is an amazing idea. Agriculture is also underrated because we can just go to the grocery store and pick up everything we need. Very few people actually think about all the work that goes into getting that food to the store. We sort of take it for granted as a society and as such we need to change that and raise future generations to understand the time and hard work that goes into the process of getting the food and supplies there. We should have more classes in our schools that teach basic life skills such as farming, money management, human relations, cooking, communicating with purpose, car maintenance, household management and maintenance to name a few.

It was a great idea to sit down with his children and let them choose how he was going to vote. We need to discuss politics and the world with our children if we expect them to change it or make it a better place not only for us, but for them and those that follow. Having open discussions and allowing them to form their own opinion will help them to do so in any aspect of their lives. This is something I do regularly with my son because I feel it isn’t my job to raise another version of myself, but to raise a well-adjusted and conscientious man.

The idea that trillions of people will be born in the next fifty thousand years is a scary thought but hopefully we can learn and adapt and teach these generations to come how to do the same. We can help them find their voice, to advocate not only for what they want but what is just and fair for the people as a whole. That is really the main point… ideas have the power to change the world. We have become a generation of short-term thinkers, however, it’s not too late to change. That’s the beauty of it. We can learn to think critically about the future generations and teach our children to do the same.

We tend to see the future as if it’s 1,000 of years in the future, but the truth is, the future is that but it’s also the now. There won’t be a future if we do not change how we do things in the present. In my lifetime, I have seen wars break out, natural disasters, the potential for World War 3, health care crisis, extinction of animals, a lack of civil rights, and food shortages to name a few examples of why we need to worry about our future and the future of our children and grandchildren now. If we used the “Future Design Movement” in our daily lives, we would start to develop a brighter and better future. We need to help ourselves and our children use long-term thinking instead of living for the right here right now. If we do this, we will raise a generation of future leaders who will put the greater good of everyone before what suits them the best in that moment. We will evolve beyond what we are now, and as such, our children will continue to do the same. Each generation to follow will continue to live and do better. It is our job to leave a greater legacy for our children and those to follow. To right the wrongs of the legacies that were left to us. It has to start somewhere, why not now.

As a society, we must seek to understand the planet we live on now, not just seek to move to another planet. If we do not learn to maintain the Earth and not deplete its resources, we will just continue to destroy any future place we colonize. We’ve started to do this with biodegradable products and recycling; however, there is more that we need to do. We need to restore, repair, and care about the Earth. Live within the boundaries of the planet. Do not push it beyond the means. There is a reason we call our planet “Mother Earth”. Our planet knows what it needs, we must learn to listen to it, connect with it, be in nature, teach our children to feel the living things around them. To be considerate of its resources and learn ways to repair the damage that’s already been done.

Writing does not really come easily for me. I am dyslexic and suffered a traumatic brain injury in 2015 which altered everything about how I express myself and learn. I was a straight A student when I went to college in my 20’s, and I’m hoping to do the same now. I want to show myself and my son that you can do anything if you put your mind to it, study and work hard, and keep pushing forward.

When I was in high school, my two favorite books we read were “Took Kill A Mockingbird” by Harper Lee and “A Farewell to Arms” by Ernest Hemingway. Sadly, I do not remember much about “A Farewell to Arms”, however, “Too Kill A Mockingbird” has a permanent place in my memory. It was a book that I could related to because my home wasn’t a safe space for me, much like the south wasn’t safe for people who were different.

Now-a-days I really enjoy reading books by Nicolas Sparks. I find that he is an amazing storyteller and can really create a picture with his words. He isn’t pretentious, nor is he the type of writer who just adds words to a page to fill them. His words all have a purpose. His stories are easily relatable and flow very naturally. I also enjoy reading books about Spirituality and healing because I firmly believe that everyone is on a journey to find what works for them and we never are truly done learning. Clearly, I believe those words as I signed up for college again after 20 years and at 42 years old. I got quite overwhelmed when I saw what I needed to do for the 3 classes I am taking this morning, yet I’m excited because going back to school is one of the first things I’ve done for myself in the 13 years since I became a mother.

In relation to my writing currently, I have been doing a lot of reflecting on myself and writing letters or working on manifesting the things I want in my life. I have a notebook that I have written my goals for 2023 in and each morning when I wake up, I read them. I do the same before bed. I also write a little bit at night and reflect on what I’ve done in the day that has helped me move closer to those wants and desires. As with everyone these days, I text people in my life to check in on them and talk. I am not really a “talk on the phone” person.

What I’d like to gain from this class is a better understanding of how to form my thoughts in a clear and concise manner. I’d like to find my voice as both a writer and person. It’s my hope that I will learn more about myself and the art-form of writing so I can become more open with my expression of thoughts and feelings as I tend to hold them pretty close to the vest.